drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
