Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
