somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
