omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
