somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
