the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
