After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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