Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
