If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
