I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
