There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
