What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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