I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
