Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
