Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
