:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
