this beer tastes like vomit already
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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