Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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