FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
