grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
