this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
