Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
