Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
