I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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