She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
