i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
