An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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