Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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