3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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