Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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