I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
