Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
