I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
"it" just moved
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Found the puke drawer
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
