i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize