the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
