My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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