i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
