That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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