cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
