I'm going to jail i love you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
