Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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