it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
