Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
