Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
