we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
