guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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