clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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