she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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