She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
