is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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