Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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