so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
