R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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