Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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