I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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