meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Damn victory sex feels great
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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