so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
