she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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