It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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