I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
