I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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