i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize