Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

no, he came in my armpit

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(818): View more from California

Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere

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(+61): View more from Australia

I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.

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(773): View more from Illinois

How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess

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(216): View more from Ohio

First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.

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(705): View more from Ontario

If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis

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